Folken Teaches the First Grade
by Scarbie
Summary: Dornkirk calls upon poor Strategos Folken to be the substitute 1st grade teacher. Unfortunately, there's no lesson plan so he's just winging it! Chapter 4- Lunchtime part 2 Rated PG-13 for violence, language, and the misuse of food.
1. Morning Bell to First Recess

Ramblings: Okay please don't kill me for writing this craziness; the idea just would not get out of my head. Yes I know this doesn't make sense, some things really don't make sense, but bear with me. All of the songs in the story are real, I had to sing one in my high school chemistry class. At least it isn't the chemistry Christmas Carols. As for the other songs I have no idea who came up with those and uh... may God have mercy on their souls. As for the children: I know some of these kids. Heck, I used to _be_ some of these kids.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Escaflowne, they belong to Sunrise and Bandai Entertainment. Unfortunately I do own the crazy children and know some of them. Their names have been changed for their protection.

_Italicized text = thoughts_

  


**Folken Teaches the First Grade**

by Scarbie (Scar_the_undertaker@hotmail.com)

  


Folken was walking to the 'Communications' room for his daily report to Lord Dornkirk. What was he going to say? Well basically the same thing he says everyday. _"Yes I'm making steady progress on the Fortune's Blood(tm), No Dilandau hasn't burned down the (insert various location on the Vione), we will capture the Dragon, My Lord, blah, blah, blah."_

While standing in front of the large projection screen, Folken mused about how traumatic his introduction to Zaibach was, but now it was the same crap everyday. _How... ironic_. Dornkirk appeared right on schedule, his wrinkly, crusty visage larger than life. Their conversation went exactly as expected-Well up to a certain point.

"Folken," Dornkirk called in his dry commanding voice.

"Yes, Your Majesty," Folken replied respectfully.

"It seems that one of the instructors in the Children's Center has taken ill."

"Do you want me to announce the cancellation of the class?" Folken asked.

"Heavens no! It would not do to have children running underfoot," Dornkirk exclaimed.

"Well I can have a substitute sent over-"

"No Folken, I wish for you to teach the class."

_WHAT!?!_ "My Lord?" Folken asked diplomatically not blinking an eye.

"Folken, you were the most intelligent of the Madoushi, that is why you are now Strategos. I want the children to be taught by the best in their teachers stead," Dornkirk said, laying the praise on thick like peanut butter.

"Yes, My Lord," Folken acquiesced.

"Remember Folken everything leads to our Ideal Future and the children... are our future." With this said the image faded to black.

"This is going to be an experience," Folken said dryly. _Sometimes I think that the Emperor throws that 'Ideal Future'(tm) phrase around way too often._ Folken now resigned to his fate started his journey to the Children's Center.

"Oh, how I love messing with the minion's minds," Dornkirk said with reserved glee. A old geezer that lives in a metal contraption with green blood flowing through his veins has to get his kicks somehow.

  


******

  


Many of the scientist and soldiers stationed on the various floating fortresses, including the Vione had families. The responsibilities of these positions didn't allow for vacation time and many families were separated, with spouses and children still on the Zaibach mainland. This lowered productivity, which Emperor Dornkirk strongly disapproved of, being the taskmaster that he is, so he immediately commissioned the construction of the Children Centers. The centers catered to children from newborn to age 13. After that... well they were S.O.L. and needed to get a job.

Folken arrived at 8:40. Ms. Millard, the teacher he was substituting for was in room 135. He took in his surroundings and a faint smile appeared on his face. It was amazing that part of the Vione could be this colorful. On the floor there was industry grade tile, the kind that's 1/4 inch thick, the kind that one has to take a sledgehammer to in order to crack it. Unlike other parts of the ship it was not the usual slate gray; this tile had swirls of pastel colors. The walls are a surprisingly-clean eggshell white. There were several bulletin boards, bordered with trim in bright primary colors-easy on the yellow-that showcased the exemplary work of the students. _How... motivating._ The color scheme was definitely like a breath of fresh air. _Thank goodness the Emperor gave the construction team free reign on the design of the Centers because while he is a brilliant man, interior designer he is not._ Folken spotted numerous teaching aides such as number and letter charts. There was a sea of little student desks arranged in six rows of five desks.

He was starting to become more comfortable with the idea of teaching the kids temporarily. The feeling of oppression that was tangible everywhere else in the Vione was virtually nonexistent here. Class would be starting in twenty minutes. _I suppose I should write my name on the board so the kids will know how to address me._ Folken walked up to one of the three nice and clean chalkboards and wrote 'Strategos Folken'. He did this even though he is one of the most famous and respected men in all of Zaibach. 

He then sat in the teacher's desk at the front of the room and began rummaging through the drawers to find the necessary information such as the roster and lesson plan for the day. Why did he only find one of the two and not the important one? _Oh gods! I'm going to have to play this by ear!_

  


******

  


After a few minutes many children began flooding the classroom and take their seats. _They are so little, just like how Van, Naria, and Eriya used to be._ There was plenty of noise as the children shuffled around their book bags getting their school supplies and greeting their friends. Eventually they settled down and looked toward the front of the class. _What's going on?_ Folken could almost hear the collective thought.

"Excuse me, sir. Where is Ms. Millard?" A girl with wavy black hair asked politely.

"Your teacher is feeling under the weather today so I will be taking over for the time being."

"Aw man!" A blonde boy said abruptly; apparently not happy with the recent developments.

Folken pointed towards the board and said, "My name is Strategos Folken."

All of the children knew his face but couldn't remember the name and it wouldn't be appropriate to call him 'That Scary Dude'.

The children in the class rolled the name off their tongues a few times for familiarity.

"Well since all of you know my name we're going to take attendance so I can learn yours."

It took another 4 minutes to take the roll call of the thirty students and commit their names to memory. He then recited them and managed not to mangle too many of the more exotic looking names. _That linguistics course came in handy._ When he did the children laughed good-naturedly. _Hmm... they're not too bad._

  


******

  


Folken being the clever man he is decides to find out what the children have been doing for the past few days. This semester just started so that can't be on anything too difficult. "So what did you guys work on last week?" _That was a safe question_.

"Well, we were wrote about what we did over summer vacation?" an olive-complected boy by the name of Armand supplied helpfully if not a little hesitantly.

Are you asking me or are you telling me?" Folken asked, not liking the lack of confidence in the boy's voice.

"I'm telling you!" the boy said more assuredly. Folken smiled down at him.

"Did you all have fun over the summer?" Folken asked kindly. The room was filled with mostly overwhelming 'Yeahs', a couple 'It was okays' and one heartfelt 'No!'.

What was so disagreeable during your summer vacation?" Folken asked a brown-skinned girl name Jasmine. The girl had a scowl on her face.

I had to go to day camp with my fathead brother. It was horrible. I wrote FOUR whole sentences about it!"

"Well you don't have to write about that again," he then corrected himself, "At least not _this_ year." Folken took a deep breath and stood up. "This is the first thing you have to do: I want you to write about what you had for breakfast today. Include the following information, whether you liked it or not and what is your favorite meal for breakfast." He waited a moment and then asked, "Does anyone need me to repeat the instructions?"

"No," The class answered.

Folken began to hand out the 'practice' paper that all little children use, with the rule that looks like:   


---------------

  


- - - - - - - -

  


---------------

_Brings back fond memories._ Folken had a strong dislike of this kind of paper, it made him think of the private academic tutor he had when he was a prince in Fanalia. _She would always gripe about my d's and b's, saying that I always went above the second line._

  


***

  


A good amount of time had past and Folken figured the children were done with their assignments.

"Students, are you finished?"

"Yeeessssss," was the choral response. _How did kids do that?_ It was a puzzling thought that Folken really didn't have time to deliberate on.

"I would like for you to read your sentences out loud." _That will kill a lot of time._ Folken looked around. "Who wants to go first?" No one raised their hand. "If no one volunteers, I will have to pick someone myself," Folken said with a hint of threat.

Okay-Okay I'll go first!" a red head girl named Teresa said grumpily. "I had malted cereal with bananas and it was, okay. My favorite are frosted corn flakes." She sighed. "But my mom doesn't let me have them often," she added as an afterthought.

"Very good, Teresa." _Sugar crazed children are the last thing I need. _"Who is next?" A boy with straight jet-black hair raised his hand. "Okay Ling."

"I had oatmeal with apples and honey and it was delicious. It's also my favorite."

_A child that likes oatmeal. Amazing._"Would you spell delicious for me Ling?"

"Delicious. D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S. Delicious."

"Excellent Ling." Folken commented. That was quite impressive spelling from a six year old. The boy beamed.

"How about you... Harold?" Folken asked a husky, shaggy brown-haired boy.

"I had beans!" He then took his left hand and put it under his right armpit and produced an unsavory sound. The class busted up in laughter. "They were great! My favorite!" Folken was not amused, his face turned to a stern cast. "That little 'sound effect' you made was _quite_ disruptive. Do not do that again."

"Yes sir," Harold said repentantly.

Folken went around the class and heard the remaining twenty-seven students sentences. He collected their papers. All this talk of food made him regret leaving out with only two cups of coffee in his stomach.   


******

  


The kids were now on their first recess break. When the bell rang, Folken had no idea what was going on. All the children looked at him expectantly. He then heard the children from the other nearby classes outside in the hallway. _Oh, I see._

Teresa raised her hand and started waving it rapidly. 

"Yes, Teresa."

"I have to use the washroom."

"Okay, does anyone else need to go to the washroom." Folken looked around, all of the children had their hands raised. _Great._

"Line up at the door please. Boys on the left girls on the right."

"Do we have to line up by height, Strategos?" a small girl asked.

Folken quickly thought of the logic behind that and said, "Yes that would be best." He would be able to account for all the children with just a glance.

After the kids assembled, Folken lead the kids down the hall to the washrooms. While the kids were handling their business Folken heard a piercing sound. 

TBC


	2. Pain in the Ass and Mathematics

Chapter 2

*****

_This is just great._ That sound was just too distinctive. It was a sound that usually caused Folken's most intense migraine headaches.

"Geheheheh. Poor Strategos." Dilandau had just rounded the corner and had a sick smile plastered on his face; a smile that Folken wanted to slap off.

"What are you doing here Dilandau? Catching up on some light reading, perhaps?" Folken asked dryly with a hint of disdain.

"Um...no." The head Dragon Slayer quickly moved his hands behind his back. It seemed that he placed something in his back pocket. He then ran his hands through his snow-white hair. "I came here because you were absent from the weekly review and I inquired as to where you were. And I must say, when I was told... I just knew I had to see it for myself."

Dilandau walked the remaining distance between Folken and himself, and stood directly in front of the mildly agitated substitute. He craned his neck to look at the taller man and shook his head in mock sympathy. "How the mighty have fallen!" He clucked his tongue. "It's a shame, really it is."

Folken suppressed the growl that was rising in his throat _and_ the urge to choke the insolent punk. That's what Eriya called him. Well scratch the insolent part. 

At this time the children who were still waiting for their turns to relieve themselves were listening with rapt attention, their heads moving form Dilandau to Folken and back to Dilandau again. All of the children knew who Dilandau was. In fact he was several of the boys role model.

It was a known fact that for Folken, Dilandau equaled irritation, but he was starting to get seriously pissed. "Dilandau, I am fulfilling a duty that was assigned to me by the Emperor himself, and unless the Emperor assigned you to remedial education, it seems you are neglecting yours. Should you not be training with your men now?" Folken asked in a deceptively mild tone.

_Uh oh._ The children thought. The tone of Folken's voice had taken a drastic turn. It was the tone of voice their parents used on them when they were in big trouble. Not the time-out voice, but the 'I'm three seconds away and I _mean_ three seconds away from whooping your butt' voice.

Jasmine thought, _Strategos Folken is giving you an out guy. You'd better take it._

Evidently Dilandau had some sense because he took that out. "Well I've seen what I came to see." He sneered at Folken then looked down at the children neatly lined up and returned his ruby-red gaze to Folken and snickered. "Sucks to be you, Strategos. Don't get to much play-dough in your hair or too much snot on you cloak."

With that final quip, the black and crimson clad man-boy left.

"That pasty faced jerk!" Teresa exclaimed heatedly.

"You shouldn't speak of people that way," Folken said half-heartedly.

*****

Folken and the children returned to the class room ten minutes later. The most peculiar thing happened though. The children informed him that Ms. Millard allowed them to drink from the water fountain during this time also. Folken just didn't understand that; wouldn't that defeat the purpose of taking them to the rest rooms if the had to go again in twenty minutes. Folken knew how temperamental children's bladders were, yet he relented because he respected the fact that this was part of the children's daily routine, and he knew that sticking to structured routines was very important in educating children.

_Ah, what to do now._ Today was going to be a long day for Folken and it's just started.

Folken decided that they should do some mathematics, seeing that they did what could be considered a language arts assignment. 

The children had a few minutes of their break left and were talking and playing amongst themselves.

Folken went up to the board and started writing very simple math problems such as 7-3, 2+9, 10-2. This shouldn't be too hard. When he finished there were twenty four problems on the board.

A bell rang letting it be known to all that recess was over. The kids looked up and saw all the math problems and groaned and mumbled.

"Oh it's not that bad," Folken said as he passed out more practice paper. "Please copy down the problems on your paper and answer them. If you have any questions, raise your hands."

Folken returned to the teacher's desk and found a red pen in a drawer and becan grading the children's 'breakfast' papers.

The children were working very quietly which Folken greatly appreciated, even though it didn't take much effort to grade first graders papers. There were several spelling mistakes but for the most part, the work was structurally sound. It didn't take long for him to complete the grading. Since he was finished he decided to make an answer key to the problems he put on the board.

Thirty seconds later he finished. He observed the class. Many students were counting on their fingers. That was a humongous pet peeve of Folken's. He knew that if these children did not break out of that bad habit now, they would become adults doing the same thing. It would hinder them. He decided then and there to nip the bad habit in the bud.

"If you didn't have hands how would you add and subtract." He asked the children, breaking the intense study of their digits.

"Uh, we would use our toes?" Harold, who Folken decided then was the class clown, replied. Folken looked at him grimly.

"Or we could get metal hands," Blaine, the blonde boy that _so_ warmly welcomed Folken, said snidely. A few of the boys sitting next to him tittered.

Folken ignored the barb. Over the years living with his prosthetic arm he became used to people's stares, whispers, and blatant ignorance. But this didn't mean he wouldn't put a note next to Blaine's name on the roster: 'Behavioral Problems'.

Folken wondered what the boy's problem was. He stumbled upon an idea. If his mother named him Blaine maybe he would have been a little butthead too. But then again he had been a prince, so that would have made his name excellent by default. _Ponderous._ Everyone would have wanted to name their son Blaine under those conditions.

The smallest girl in the class came to Folken's defense. "Aww, Blaine you're just mad that your girlfriend isn't here... Ms. Millard." For some reason she started making simian noises.

_What a strange child._ Folken thought.

"Oooooo," the class cooed. 

"Shut up Cecile!" Blaine yelled over his classmates teasing. His face was tomato red.

All the children started laughing louder, including the shy Armand.

Cecile just wore a smug expression.

"That's enough class!" Folken declared getting annoyed with their antics. Even though Cecile's little outburst did shed some light on Blaine's attitude problem, it was still disruptive. "Let's get our minds back on the problems."

Sometime had passed while Folken was explaining that counting mentally was a much more efficient way of doing math and the more the kids practiced, it would become instinctive.

He called out problems for them to think about and answer. As expected they got the first few wrong because they were being put on the spot, but the more problems the children did, the better they became.

"You can't depend on your fingers for counting because you won't be in first grade all your life and you won't be working with numbers this small. Just wait until you get a job and it comes time for you to do your taxes. You'll be two years trying to get done."

"My father pays someone to do his taxes," Blaine said snottily.

"How nice for him," Folken said sardonically. He wanted to be nice, he really did, but the boy was making it extremely difficult.

"Okay. Now do the problems that are on the board." Folken returned to his seat. The day was going really slow. He looked at his timepiece. It was almost lunchtime.

_Thank goodness these kids aren't as good in math as they are at writing, because I'm about all tapped out of ideas._ His stomach made a little sound. _And hungry._ His mouth quirked into a little smile. He would think of something.

*****

TBC

A/N: I mean no offense to dudes named Blaine. I want to thank all of you that reviewed. It makes this goofball really happy that you like my silly story! Lunch time is coming up and that's just going to be a mess, I can tell you that now.


	3. Lunchtime part 1

Chapter 3

*****

Folken looked at the students working hard on their math problems then down at his timepiece again. 

_These next fifteen minutes can't go by soon enough_, he thought. 

Luckily for Folken, the churning of his stomach made minimal noise. But he had a feeling that wouldn't last for long. 

****

While Folken was stressing over whether his stomach would rumble or not, his catgirls were walking outside of the gymnasium. They finished their training exercises moments earlier. The young women definitely had pep in their step. They completed the exercises early and...

"Today is going to be a great day, sister," Eriya said. 

"I know! We haven't had a chance to speak to Lord Folken in a long time. Well at least not when it's about regular stuff." Naria was all smiles. 

The girls usually ate lunch in the cafeteria and that's where they were headed now. 

Once they reached the cafeteria, a sign indicated that today's special was salmon, the girls' favorite. Also the lunch line was not long at all because they were there early. 

When they approached the counter they saw that their favorite cafeteria worker was there. His name was Roosevelt but all of his friends called him Rosie. He had on his white uniform and apron and his curly black hair was covered with the regulation hairnet. 

"Hi, girls," he drawled. 

"Hi, Rosie!" Naria and Eriya said in unison. 

"What would you girls like?" he asked even as he moved towards the warming plate with the salmon. "The usual?" 

Eriya laughed. "Actually we just came for some half and half." 

Rosie raised both his eyebrows in surprise. 

Naria couldn't help but laugh. 

Rosie looked from the blonde to the aquamarine head. They were usually friendly but today they were downright... giddy. 

"So why do you two look like 'the cat that ate the canary'... if you'll excuse the expression." 

The girls smiled. "Oh. We'll be eating with Lord Folken today," Naria replied happily.

"Tall, pale, and handsome, Lord Folken?" Rosie inquired. 

Both of the girls blushed and lowered their heads. "The very same," Eriya said with a smile.

"The girls' good humor was rubbing off on Rosie and he smiled his friendly gap-toothed smile. "Well you girls enjoy your day!" 

"Thank you, Rosie," the young catwomen said. 

Naria reached in the cooler and got a pint sized half and half for herself and her sister and walked to the exit leading to the large lunchroom. There were long tables that seated up to eight, tables for four, two, and even counters with stools for those that preferred to be by themselves. 

Since the girls arrived so early they were able to get their pick of seats, but that wasn't important, because they sat at their usual table in the upper right corner of the room. One reason was because they liked being near the exit, another reason was so they wouldn't have to look on a life sized portrait of Emperor Dornkirk in all his wrinkly glory (well not all, he did have on a scarlet colored robe). Naria and Eriya didn't understand why it was in there, weren't people supposed to be _eating_ in the lunchroom? The girls sat in a table that sat four because sometimes they would have a third person. 

"Wow, I didn't realize how much earlier we finished," Naria commented after looking around the nearly vacant lunchroom.

"I know. We should enjoy the calm before you know who comes. Geez, what loudmouth," Eriya said.

Naria nodded in agreement. She opened up her carton of half and half, and then took a sip. She grimaced.

"What's wrong?"

"It's ice frozen," Naria said.

Eriya scrunched her face in sympathy. "Yuck!" 

"I'll be right back." Naria stood up and walked back to the canteen. 

"You decided you wanted that salmon after all?" Rosie asked. 

Naria shook her head and raised the carton that contained the vile-tasting liquid. "No, this was ice frozen." 

"Sorry about that, honey. Go get another one." 

Naria reached and got another carton and threw the nasty one away. She decided she didn't want to take chances and opened the new carton and took a small sip. It tasted great. She smiled and circled her thumb and forefinger. "This one is fine, Rosie." 

Naria returned to her seat. She started thinking about Folken and sighed. 

"Sister, penny for your thoughts," Eriya said. 

"I was just wondering if we ever did get Folken, how would we work that out? I mean I'm willing to share, but how?" Naria asked. 

"Well," Eriya started, after giving the matter minimal thought, "I could have him on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday." 

Naria frowned. "That would mean I only have him on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. That's only three days compared to your four. That's not fair!" She banged her fist on the table. She realized that she was getting loud and calmed down. 

"Okay, you're right. Well I guess it's only fair that he should have a day to recover himself, so Lord Folken can have Sunday off," Eriya said. 

Naria grinned. "Yeah, that's only fair." She started laughing. "I can't believe we're talking about this." 

As the two girls were talking, a handsome man wearing a midnight blue uniform walked pass them heading for the stools. He was tall, broad shouldered, with brown hair and green eyes. 

Naria and Eriya caught a familiar smell and looked to the man putting his food tray on the counter. The smell wasn't bad-not at all-just very distinctive. 

"Zongi! Why are you sitting over there?" Eriya asked. 

The man turned around slowly. "If you girls are going to prattle about your schemes on getting Lord Folken, I think I rather eat by myself." 

Naria scoffed. "We're finished with that... for now. So it's safe to sit here." 

Zongi looked dubious, but he moved to the table. He sat across from the girls. 

Naria looked at Zongi and smiled. She felt sad that Zongi felt uncomfortable in his own form when he was among other people. If it was just her, Eriya, and Folken, Zongi would be at ease. But she had to admit that this current form was a looker. 

"So what have you been up to lately, Zongi?" Eriya asked. 

"I've been preparing for a mission in Freid," he replied. 

Eriya looked down at Zongi's plate. "What is that?" she asked, referring to a brown lump covered with brown sauce. 

"Oh it's meatloaf. It looks nasty, but it's really good. Would you like to try some?" he offered. 

"No thank you. It looks a little too heavy for my taste." 

"Your loss." Zongi started to slice his meatloaf. While doing that he looked across at Naria and what he saw made him sigh. She had the goofiest grin on her face. 

"You guys are so pitiful," he said. 

"I can't help it," Naria said, "he's just so wonderful." 

Zongi couldn't really say anything to that, because he had great respect for the Strategos of Zaibach. If Folken hadn't taken him in, Zongi knew that his life would've been taken on some battlefield, or more than likely by his own hand. Yeah, he could relate to the two young women that sat before him. Folken had saved their lives, also. He smiled because the girls were still pitiful, love struck fools. 

He was about to say something smartass anyway, but a ruckus coming from the canteen cut him short. 

"So I say to him, 'Don't get to much play-dough in your hair or too much snot on you cloak!' You should have seen the look on his face!"

Zongi, Naria, and Eriya groaned. 

"It couldn't last forever," Naria said, while patting her sister on the back.

Dilandau and his cronies were moving to their usual table that was square in the middle of the lunchroom. This ensured that they would be the center of attention.

"I wonder who that jerk is making fun of now," Eriya mused aloud.

"If he keeps talking so damn loud we'll find out soon enough," Zongi commented, in his now gravelly voice.

*****

TBC

A/N: We know who Dilly's talking about, but what's going to happen when Naria, Eriya, and Zongi find out? And what the heck are Folken and those crazy kids doing?


	4. Lunchtime part 2

Chapter 4 Lunch Time Part 2

Folken's stomach loudly declared that its patience had come to an end. The only thing that saved him from being the object of the children's ridicule was the lunch bell.

_Finally_, Folken thought. "Okay, children you know what to do." 

*** 

In the hallway, Folken saw that several classes were outside. The class directly ahead of his contained students that were smaller than the first graders. They were neatly assembled and wearing happy expressions. They were listening attentively to their teacher. 

_Those must be the kindergarteners. They look like such sweet children._ Folken looked down at his students and noticed that some of them had already lost that sweetness. Blaine and his friends in particular looked sullen. _I wonder if they act this way when their teacher is here... probably not. Ah, the fate of the substitute teacher._

As he thought of his current position in life he heard an adult female voice. The voice was very close. He turned toward the source it was the kindergarten teacher. 

"Teaching a class is the last place where I would expect to find the Strategos of Zaibach," The woman said. 

Folken smiled a bit. "That makes two of us, Ms.?" 

The woman smiled back and supplied her name. "Ms. Mitchell." 

Ms. Mitchell had short brown hair and eyes of a pleasant shade of blue that stood out even more because of her eyewear.

She reached a hand out to shake Folken's, but he surprised her by lifting it to his lips and placing a delicate kiss on her hand. Despite being in Zaibach for nearly a decade, some habits were hard for the former prince to break. 

A blush spread quickly across the woman's face. She was not used to being treated in such a way. 

All of the kindergarteners said, "Oooooh." Most of the first graders laughed but many of the first grade girls looked at Folken in a new light. Though many of the girls thought that boys their age were dirty little heathens, they still could appreciate the gallant gesture of the man. Of course none of the girls thought that any of the jerky boys could ever grow up to be like that. 

"Strategos Folken is pretty classy, huh?" Theresa whispered as she nudged her shorter friend Jasmine in the back. 

"Yeah," Jasmine responded with a dazed voice. 

Blaine was busy making gagging motions. "Oh please, what a jerk!" _We definitely have to do something to this clown now, he thought._

"Well...." Ms. Mitchell had to clear her throat before she could say a complete sentence. "The children are probably hungry." 

"Yes, you are probably right," Folken agreed. 

"Let's go children," Ms. Mitchell said to her students. 

***

In the main cafeteria Naria, Eriya, and Zongi listened to Dilandau drone on and on in the hopes of identifying the poor soul who was the subject of his gossip. So far Dilandau had been very loud but vague. 

"The look on his face was just classic!" Dilandau said, while spreading his arms out and grinning to emphasize, 'classic'. 

"Um, w-what did his face look like, Lord Dilandau?" the often cowering Chesta asked. After asking the question, the blonde Dragon Slayer tensed his body in preparation for the vicious slap that was to come. 

The slap never came. Instead Dilandau beamed even more because the blonde's question allowed for more of his theatrical dramatizations. 

"First he turned around like this." Dilandau faced away from his men and slowly turned around. 

"Then he did this." Dilandau widened his eyes for the briefest of moments as if he had been caught doing something particularly embarrassing and then his face flickered into an angry mask, and finally settled on an aloof expression. 

"I've never seen him look so flustered, but that only lasted for a little while. Of course he turned into his usual stick-in-the-mud self," Dilandau said as he returned to his seat. 

"I would have paid money to see that. He's always so calm, cool, and collected," Miguel said as he attacked the rubbery baked chicken with a knife and fork. "It's really irritating!" 

Naria thought there was something strangely familiar about the mannerisms that Dilandau mimicked, but she could not put them to a person. _Maybe he's making fun of one of his superiors,_ she thought. 

"I don't know, Lord Dilandau. It seems like teaching children would be a nice break from the usual things he has to do," Chesta stated plainly. Not being slapped for his previous comment made him feel quite a bit braver. 

Dilandau turned from Miguel and fully focused his ruby-red gaze on Chesta. He moved his food tray and utensils out of the way so he could turn in his seat and rest his left arm on the table. 

Chesta met his leader's frightening gaze and hunched his shoulders and leaned back into his chair trying to make himself smaller. 

Chesta's actions again seemed to be unnecessary because Dilandau's voice took on a mild conversational tone. "Why do you say that, Chesta?" 

Chesta gradually straightened up in his chair. "Er, well," he started warily, "he has so many responsibilities to deal with day in and day out." 

"Mm-hmm," Dilandau murmured, wanting Chesta to continue. 

"It'll probably be like a mini vacation for him. He'll probably play fun games with the kids like, 'Dornkirk Says' and 'Duck, Duck, Dragon!' Chesta said, while stirring some green peas into his mashed potatoes. "And maybe they'll work in coloring books." 

The violet-haired Dallet turned to Viole and raised his eyebrows and mouthed, "What the...?" 

Viole shrugged his shoulders and returned his attention to Dilandau. 

Dilandau seemed to be taking in all of Chesta's possible fun activities and nodding his head when appropriate. The other Dragon Slayers were nervously waiting for what was to come from the conversation. 

"So you think he's having fun teaching the little runts?" Dilandau asked. 

"Yeah, he could be. Don't you think he might?" Chesta asked around a mouthful of mashed potatoes. 

"You know Chesta, you almost sound as if...." Dilandau's voice trailed off as he looked down appearing to be deep in thought, trying to find the right words to finish his sentence. 

"Sound as if what?" Chesta asked before he swallowed his mouthful of food. He then ate another spoonful. 

"Sound as if you want to give him a _pedicure_ or something," Dilandau said with the first audible hints of malice. He proceeded to imitate the poor Dragon Slayer in a whiny voice saying, "You work so hard day in and day out, Sir. Maybe we should give you the whole spa treatment." 

The other Dragon Slayers suppressed their laughter because they didn't want to hurt Chesta's feelings. Gatti only succeeded in getting milk to come out through his nose. 

Eriya looked on to what was happening and turned to her sister and Zongi. "He is so mean to his men. Blondie was only trying to stick up for whoever Dilly was dogging." 

Zongi looked down at Eriya due to her strange choice of words. He agreed with her but had something else to add. "To be honest, I'm surprised that Dilandau hasn't slapped him yet." 

"And _no_, I don't think that Mullet Head is having fun with the children, so why don't you shut up before I slap THE TASTE OUT YOUR MOUTH!" Dilandau yelled putting his face one-inch away from Chesta's. 

After that outburst the entire cafeteria went quiet. It also was clear to Naria, Eriya, and Zongi who Dilandau was talking about. 

"But I was just-" Chesta started, but was interrupted by a swift slap to the face. He found that Dilandau was true to his word because he was no longer able to taste the food that was in his mouth. 

"That's it!" Eriya said as she slapped her hands on the table, "I can't take this crap any longer! No one disrespects Lord Folken that way. How dare he call him Mullet Head!" She pushed out of her seat causing the chair's metal legs to make a screeching sound and proceeded to walk towards Dilandau with a murderous gleam in her eyes. 

Zongi and Naria glanced at each other and got up also, fully prepared to back Eriya up 110%.

***

The cafeteria in the Children's Center was as bright and colorful as the classrooms. There were different colorful bulletins showing information such as the 'Students of the Month' and 'How to be a Young Productive Citizen of the Ziabach Empire'. Better yet there were no life or any other sized portraits of Emperor Dornkirk around to scare the children while they were eating.

There were many small round tables that had light gray tops. Near the back of the cafeteria was small set of steps that lead to a section with more tables. 

Some of the children went to the lunch line while others who had bag lunches headed straight for their usual tables. 

_It seems that the children can handle themselves. Now it's time for me to get something to eat!_ Folken thought.

He noticed that Ms. Mitchell went into a different line than the children. There were other adults in the line as well. _This must be the line for the teachers._ Folken picked up a food tray and stepped in line behind Ms. Mitchell. 

Two older women busied themselves behind the canteen. Both wore crisp white uniforms and hairnets. They were very pleasant to the students and the teachers. 

"What would you like, dear?" One of the gray-haired women asked Harold. Her hand was already hovering over the baked beans. 

"The usual, Mrs. Sullivan," the boy replied cheerfully. 

Folken looked over as the event took place and sighed when he heard the sound of the beans plopping into Harold's tray. _Oh dear._

Folken turned his attention back to what he could choose from. He noticed that they had prepared salads and he picked one with diced chicken and oranges as toppings. The soup looked pretty appetizing too. When he got to the other server she beamed at him.

"You grace us with your presence, Strategos." 

"Thank you," Folken said. 

"What would you like, Sir?" 

He quickly looked at the soup of the day sign that was at the head of the line. "I would like the clam chowder." 

The woman got a bowl--which was much larger than the soup bowls she usually handed out--and filled it to maximum capacity. She put the bowl on his tray and asked would he like a roll. Folken was never one to turn down food and considering how hungry he was the thought would have never entered his mind. 

Now with food, Folken set off to tackle the next challenge. Where would he sit? 

***

Eriya stood at the head of the Dragon Slayers table looking very aggressive. She had her feet apart and had her left hand on her hip. Dilandau was still glaring at Chesta so he didn't notice her, but the other Dragon Slayers did.

Miguel coughed in hopes of getting Dilandau's attention.

It didn't work.

Miguel coughed even more theatrically. Viole caught on to what his fellow Dragon Slayer was attempting to do and joined in.

Dilandau quickly turned in his seat to address them.

"If you're going to hack up a lung, go someplace else and do it. I don't want to get your TB!"

Dilandau was about to turn back around to continue yelling at Chesta when he finally noticed Eriya standing near the Slayer's table. To make things even more annoying her twin sister, Naria was approaching too, along with an unfamiliar man.

Dilandau rolled his eyes and sighed. "Well, look what the cat dragged in. It's 'Folken's Strays'."

He took a look at the man that was with the catwomen and added, "And a friend." 

Eriya took another step forward.

"Look here you little punk. You better stop talking crap about Lord Folken, or else."

The 'little punk' draped one of his arms over the back of his chair and look at his Dragon Slayers with an expression that said, "Is she threatening me? I mean, really."

Eriya was getting more agitated which was visible by her clenching and unclenching her fists. It took all her self-control to keep from popping her claws.

Dilandau looked back up at Eriya and said, "Or else what, _little_ Miss Kitty?"

Naria and Zongi walked up to flank Eriya in a show of support. They would not allow anyone to badmouth Lord Folken either.

"Or else," she smiled a wicked little smile, "I'll cut you." She figured now was a good time to pop her claws for dramatic effect with her hands at her sides. Maybe the jerk would do something stupid enough to provoke her to use them.

Naria did a little head nod. "Ditto."

Zongi originally wasn't going to say anything. He thought that looking menacing was good enough but Dilandau gave him a disgusted look that just pissed him off.

"I won't cut you. I'll just kick your ass."

Dilandau stood up abruptly and in his haste he bumped into Eriya, causing her to stumble into Zongi.

The Dragon Slayers were so busy watching the situation escalate, they forgot that they were supposed to be backing their leader up.

Miguel was the first to snap out of it.

"C'mon, you have to admit it's pretty funny that Old Crusty sent Mullet Head to watch the crumb crunchers."

"What, you want some of this too?" Naria asked. Usually she was the more laid back of the two girls but she could get feisty when Folken was concerned. "And I don't think you're one to talk about crumb crunching." She pointed a finger to show the beige breadcrumbs on his navy blue uniform.

Zongi gripped Eriya's shoulders to steady her.

"Did you just lay your hands on her?" Zongi asked.

"No! She was in the way. I was trying to kick _your_ ass!"

"You must have done something to her. She didn't lose her balance just for the hell of it," Zongi said loudly. He removed his hands from Eriya's shoulders and asked her, "Do you usually go around losing your balance for no reason? Are you an alcoholic or something?"

Eriya looked up into Zongi's green eyes and saw a hint of something. She thought she knew where Zongi was going with this line of questioning and decided to play along."

"No, of course not. He pushed me!" she said while pointing her finger at Dilandau. "You saw what he did, didn't you, sister?"

Naria looked very serious as she nodded her head.

Dilandau scoffed. "You're lying!"

Zongi stepped in front of Eriya. "Are you calling the lady a liar?"

Dilandau took another step forward. "Apparently so!"

The other people in the cafeteria began to quietly talk amongst themselves as they watched what was happening. Naria managed to pick up on some of the comments.   
  
"Did the Dragon Slayer captain just hit that woman?"   
"Something's going on over there."   
"I can't believe that he just pushed that girl!"   
"What do you mean she tripped. When have you _ever_ heard of a cat tripping?"   
"You think there's going to be a fight?   
"Maybe we'll finally get some entertainment around here."   


The gears in Naria's mind started turning rapidly.

"_Hmmm. If we do get into a fight with Dilandau and his underlings we could say that it was because he attacked Eriya first. We'll be stretching the truth just a teensy weensy bit, but we have witnesses that could support that view of the events."_ She smiled mentally because she needed to maintain her stern expression. She crossed her arms for added effect.

_"I love it when a plan comes together._"

  
*** 

Folken looked at the multitude of rounded tables and took in the small chairs. "There is no possible way I could sit and be comfortable," he thought. Folken could just imagine his knees hitting the bottom of a table as he sat down in one of the small seats. He was so tall that his knees would practically be at chest level.

Ms. Mitchell walked up the stairs to the back area and set her food down on the table. She thought that it was nice that she could eat without the children swarming her but still be close enough where she could observe them. As she checked on her class she noticed Folken looking down as if he were lost in thought.

_Maybe he would like to sit with me and my friends._

She walked down the stairs towards Folken. 

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, Lord Folken, but I was wondering whether you would like to sit with me and my associates?" she asked somewhat hesitantly. She felt like a goof calling her friends her associates but she didn't want to seem unsophisticated.

Folken started when he heard the voice. He saw that it was Ms. Mitchell again. Her being able to sneak up on the Strategos was not due to her being good at the art of stealth, it was that Folken was so preoccupied. 

"Yes, I would like that. Thank you." Folken was very relieved that he didn't have to make a fool of himself sitting in one of those small chairs. He followed Ms. Mitchell to her table and sat down next to her.

"Ms. Minase and Coach Dyl should be here shortly," Ms. Mitchell informed Folken as she put her napkin on her lap.

"Coach Dyl, the name says it all, but what does Ms. Minase teach?" Folken asked.

"Oh, she teaches the general science class for the younger students and biology for the older ones.

"Biology. A very interesting subject," Folken remarked. He was a man of the sciences, but biology was especially interesting to him. He used physics and chemistry everyday in his work, but not so much biology.

Ms. Mitchell watched him as he talked. When he said biology it made her blush. _"Oh stop being stupid! It's not like he's talking about anything perverse. That's just you with your mind in the gutter,"_ she thought. He was a very attractive man and he seemed nice. 

"Is everything all right?" Folken asked.

"Oh yes. I was just thinking how I wasn't too good at the sciences. I was always better at Literature and History," she lied.

Before she could get herself in more trouble she saw that Coach Dyl and Ms. Minase were coming up the stairs. They looked like they were having a heated discussion, as usual, Ms. Mitchell noted.

"I'm telling you, these children, they have no discipline," Coach Dyl said. The Coach was of average height with short, brown hair with bleached tips and brown eyes. He wore a simple outfit comprised of a white tunic, blue pants, and brown boots.

"Really Coach Dyl, I don't understand why you would say that. They're only kids." The woman was taller than the Coach and had shoulder length hair a slightly darker shade of cyan than Folken's. Her eyes were russet colored and she wore a dark purple dress. 

"They come into class and you tell them to do twenty laps around the gym for a warm up, then they moan and groan like I've asked them to do something crazy. Especially those boys. They're lucky they don't have it as bad as I did coming up."

Ms. Minase sighed. "Why do you insist on doing that?" 

"Doing what?" Coach Dyl asked.

"Talking as if you're a bazillion years old. In fact, you're only what... twenty-six?

The Coach was going to respond to her quip when he noticed who was sitting at their usual table. He had to remember to close his mouth.

"What's your problem?" Ms. Minase asked. She turned to see whatever it was that the young 'old-timer' saw and when she saw it she had to fight not to have a similar reaction.

Wow, he's even better looking in person," she thought. She hurried to the table so she could make his acquaintance. Coach Dyl followed behind her.

"Afternoon, Strategos Folken. I'm the Phys Ed teacher, Coach Dyl. You doing observations?" The two men shook hands.

"Good afternoon, Lord Folken. I'm Ms. Minase, the science teacher." She put her tray down and leaned over to shake his hand. Folken repeated the courtly gesture he performed on Ms. Mitchell and Ms. Minase almost fainted. She quickly sat in her seat before her legs gave out.

Folken answered Coach Dyl's question. "No actually I'm here as a substitute for Ms. Millard."

"How have the children been treating you so far?" the Coach asked.

Folken thought back to what he heard the Coach say about the children being undisciplined and decided they weren't as bad as all that. "They have been manageable for the most part."

"That Blaine boy is in that class. You got to watch out for that one. He's a little troublemaker."

Folken nodded. "Yes, he is precocious."

"That's strange, he was my student last year and I never had any problems out of him," Ms. Mitchell said as she cut her chicken breast.

"I haven't either. He's always well behaved in my class," Ms. Minase added.

Folken took in this new information. "Ah, I see. Maybe Mr. Blaine only likes to be instructed by attractive women. The Coach and I don't fit that description."

The two women glanced at each other then at Folken and laughed shyly, hoping their faces weren't too red. Folken smiled. All the adults at the table started to eat their lunches. The teachers barely reacted when they saw Folken's metallic hand. Today was really turning out to be a nice day. One of the nicest he had in a _long_ time.

***

Blaine looked at the three teachers and the substitute eating lunch. _"How did that jerk end up sitting with two of the prettiest teachers at the school?_" the blonde boy thought. When he saw the two women laughing at something that _metal man_ said, he was hit with a wave of jealousy so strong he could barely stand it. _"Oh you're really going to get it, now._" 

"Look guys," Blaine said to his friends, "I think I have a plan."

***

"You know what? I really don't like your attitude, boy," Zongi said.

"You don't like my attitude," Dilandau repeated. "Just who the hell are _you_, where you think that you can talk to _me_ in such a way. I the captain of the Dragon Slayers. I run this _here_." He waved his hand in the direction of his men. "Now what are you running, besides your mouth?"

"Are you going to slap the taste out of his mouth too, Lord Dilandau?" Chesta asked softly. 

"I think I'm getting tired of talking," Zongi said.

"What the hell is that supposed to mea-"

Dilandau was cut off by Zongi punching him in the stomach.

_"That wasn't the most honorable thing for me to do, but oh well,"_ Zongi thought without much remorse.

A chorus broke out in the cafeteria. The words were quite simple and it was catchy. "Fight. Fight. Fight. Fight."

Dilandau staggered back from the force of the surprise blow. He bumped into the table. He quickly recovered and threw a right that Zongi was able to dodge easily. He threw a punch with his left that just managed to clip Zongi on the jaw. It wasn't anything too serious.

_"Not bad. Not bad. He was able to get that little hit in._ Zongi decided it was time to stop playing around. He hit Dilandau in the jaw to show him how it was done. The blow sent Dilandau careening into Eriya. She pushed him off of her. "We have to stop meeting like this," she joked. He looked a little dazed. She backhanded him to snap him out of his stupor.

"Damn!" a soldier in the back of the cafeteria said, loudly.

That man's exclamation roused the Dragon Slayer's into action.

"It's about time you idiots," Dilandau yelled. He was trying to defend against Eriya's quick attacks.

Dallet was advancing on Zongi when someone grabbed his shoulder length hair and pulled. Hard.

"Y'know, you really need a haircut," Naria said mildly as if she weren't about to pound him. She decided not to hit him in the face because he had a pretty face. He shouldn't be scarred for life because his leader was a jerk.

"Get off Lord Dilandau, you jerk!" Chesta was running towards Zongi who was currently in charge of Dilandau's beating. Chesta's weapon of choice was his food tray.

Zongi certainly wasn't expecting a tray full of mashed potatoes with green specks--"Peas?" he thought vaguely--to come flying at his head.

He didn't stand a chance.

While he wiped the starchy food out of his eyes, Dilandau used that opportunity to rain blows on his stomach. He relished each hit that landed.

"I'm going to beat your ass," he said and then took a breath of air, "until I get tired."

Naria got up after tackling Miguel saw that Zongi was in trouble. She ran over to stop Dilandau but Chesta got in her way. She hissed at him but he didn't back down. Using her enhanced agility she swept his legs out from under him before he knew what was happening and stepped over him. She tapped Dilandau on the shoulder.

"What? Don't you see I'm busy?"

She slapped him on the back of his head.

He quickly rounded on her. "What? You want some of this too?" he asked throwing her own words back in her face.

Eriya ran to a table that was behind Naria and Dilandau and grabbed a half of a grapefruit. Only Naria could see what her sister was doing.

"Sure. Why not?" Naria said, not giving away her twin's position with her eyes.

Dilandau was in the process of throwing a punch when Eriya crept up behind him and put her left arm around his torso, effectively restraining him. She had the grapefruit half in her right hand and proceeded to use the Dragon Slayer's nose as a makeshift juicer.

"Oh my eyes. Damn you!" Dilandau said as he struggled to break out of her hold. As he yelled some of the grapefruit juice got in his mouth. It must have been a ruby red.

Naria was laughing so hard at the sight before her that she didn't see Dallet coming with his meatloaf. It hit her in the face. Some of the gravy got in her hair.

The chorus changed to, "Food fight. Food fight. Food fight."

"Yeah, those girls kick ass!" the soldier in the back said. 

Zongi recovered then grabbed a tray of food and dumped mixed vegetables down the back of Chesta's uniform.

"There you go," Zongi said, not unkindly as he patted the submissive Dragon Slayer on his back.

Dilandau was finally able to sidestep and momentarily make Eriya lose her balance. "Ooooh, I hate you two girls.

"Feelings mutual, jerk face," Eriya said as she pushed him. As he lurched forward, he slipped on some of Chesta's mashed potatoes.

"Ow!" he said when he fell on his butt.

Zongi jumped on him and started to beat him soundly. To his left he saw some more of Chesta's discarded potatoes. He grabbed a handful and scrubbed Dilandau's face with them.

"Yeah. Now what?"

Dilandau spat the potatoes that got in his mouth out and asked, "Who the hell are you? I don't even know you!"

"Oh you know me, Lord Dilandau." As the man said that his voice started changing. It went from deep and gravelly to something that sounded almost reptilian.

Dilandau's eyes widened. He knew that voice.

Just to make sure Dilandau knew Zongi shifted back to his true self for a brief moment and went back to his adopted form. Most people who saw that thought they were seeing things. But Dilandau knew better.

"Ugh! I knew I smelled something weird!" Dilandau said. "Get off me!"

"Nope. Not until you say, "Lord Folken's the greatest!"

The Dragon Slayer started thrashing around even more. "Never. Because I'm the greatest!

Apparently the excitement got to be too much for some of the crowd because armed soldiers were heading towards them. These soldiers were the Zaibachian Military Police.

"Awww, who finked?" the same loud soldier in the back asked. 

The largest soldier stepped to the front and asked Naria and Eriya, "What's going on?" in a booming voice.

Naria pointed at Dilandau and said, "That man shoved my sister!"

"And things got a little hectic from there," Eriya finished while glaring at Dilandau.

"No. It was all just a small misunderstanding!" Dilandau said from his spot on the ground.

"You all are coming with us!"

Eriya looked at her sister. "Well we wouldn't have been able to have lunch with Lord Folken anyway, Sister."

"Yeah, I know," Naria said, disappointed. "But you do have to admit," she whispered, "this was kind of fun!"

The two catgirls smiled. "I hope Lord Folken's day is faring better than ours."

The middle of the cafeteria was an absolute mess with bits of the day's menu decorating the floor like a kindergartner's finger painting.

The armed soldiers herded those involved in the fighting into a manageable group. Many of the perpetrators had food on their faces and smeared on their clothing.

The head soldier shook his head. "And you're supposed to be the elite," he said with disgust, "Move out!"

Chesta looked back at the cafeteria floor. "I wasn't even able to finish my mashed potatoes," he said, "and those were good potatoes."

  
*** 

A/N: I'm not dead. Yay! *hears crickets chirping* Gah, this chapter is entirely too long but I didn't want to have lunch time broken up into three parts. Sorry for making so much fun of Chesta, but you do have to admit that Dilandau abuses the mess out of him during the series. *LOL* The poor thing.

I actually treated Dilly halfway decently in this chapter. I could have made it one of those, "There were two hits. I hit him, then he hit the floor" deals but I let Dilandau get a few hits in on Zongi instead of Zongi doing an immediate K.O. If you're still upset you can do like Johnny Storm and "FLAME ON!" I think Dilly would like that.


End file.
